Whatever Happened To The Happy Ending
by keiranumnums
Summary: Lauren dies, leaving Joey in emotional pain. Friendship, not romance. Rated T for swearing and boy oh boy is this stuff sad.
1. Chapter 1

Prompt- Lauren dies leaving Joey with emotional pain. Includes flashbacks of when she was still with him.

I throw my hands over my face and just let the tears pour out. There is no use in trying or argue it or fight it off anymore. I am absolutely hopeless. In a world full of people I am all alone. No matter how loud I scream, I know not a soul can hear me. Maybe I'm just pushing others away. They don't know what life is like without your best friend there with you every day. Even watching Friends I don't crack a smile. With every second the cuts on my wrists get smaller, yet the cuts on my heart grow, forming into scars. I wish I knew how to stay strong, she would be so proud of me. Now I fear she is only ashamed. I can't help but feel it's my fault she's dead.

• • •

"Joey," Lauren whined as we strolled down the streets of Ann Arbor, Michigan. "I don't want to drive there, we should walk. You need the exercise," she joked, poking at my stomach. I rolled my eyes and walked her to my car just a block down.  
"Get in," I said, opening the door to the passenger seat for her. She gave me a death glare before climbing into my cheap, silver Ford. I got in the drivers side and started up the car.  
"Oh, can we stop by Julia's place? I forgot my hair bag there last night," she asked with a glow in her beautiful brown eyes.  
I really didn't want to go out of our way for that when her hair looked fine even when she just rolled out of bed in the morning, but she really wanted to go so "Fine. Though I'd really rather not."  
"Yaay! Thank you!" she squeeled, throwing her arms around me into a sideways hug.  
"Hey now, don't distract me while I'm driving," I joked. We kept driving for a few more minutes when we suddenly ran out of things to talk about. I was perfectly fine with quiet, but Lauren would've gone insane if I had left it that way much longer. I clicked on the radio, keeping my eyes on the road. Walker had borrowed my car just a few weeks ago and had left it on some weird Country station.  
"So Joey's a country man, huh?" Lauren mocked me, smirking.  
"No!" I defended myself, changing it to the next station. Top 40.  
"Nah."  
I rolled my eyes and chuckled, "Are you going to be difficult with every station? 'Cause I may as well give up now."  
"No, go to 108.4," she suggested. I quickly looked down and turned the dial. 108.1. 108.2. 108.3. 108.4. I brought my eyes back up to the road and saw a big, white truck coming towards us. I completely froze.  
"JOEY!" Lauren screamed, grabbing the steering wheel from my hands. The next thing I saw was black. Nothing. I couldn't see anything. I could hear an abulence coming in my direction. I got the feeling it was going to hit me, then I realized, maybe I had already been hit. There was a warm liquid on my forehead. It didn't take a genious to figure out it was blood. I felt someone lift me onto a stretcher. I wanted to ask what had happened. Where was Lauren? Was she okay? Was I going to die? Was /she/ going to die? The next thing I remember was laying on a bed in a hospital room, hushed voices all around me.


	2. Chapter 2

"Joey," Jaime sang in a high pitched voice, attempting to grab my attention.  
"Yeah?" I asked, still staring out into space. Ever since the accident I just wasn't into it anymore. I couldn't focus on anything and I found myself staying home on Saturday nights, even when Walker or Devin were throwing crazy parties.  
"You're going to sing the third line, turning around after Brian, okay?" she assured me.  
"Yeah, yeah, okay."  
"Hey, Joe, you okay?" Walker asked, hitting me on the back with his sharp hand.  
"Mmm"  
"We know it's tough, but just don't give up hope. There's an 89% chance of her waking up from that coma, and I'd say that's pretty good," Meredith reassured me, with a comforting smile. I looked over at Clark who was sitting behind his piano with his eyes gazing down towards his lap. Lauren had been one of his closest friends too. Julia hadn't even shown up to rehearsal the past week. We all knew our next tour was going to be a disaster.  
"Lets pack up early," Jaime suggested, shrugging. The rest of the team agreed and we all grabbed our bags and walked outside into the cool Chicago breeze.  
"Lunch?" Brian asked, pulling a green knitted hat onto his head. It was getting quite chilly this time of year.  
"Sure-e-o" Meredith chirped, bumping into him playfully as he wrapped his arm around her.  
"Whatya say, Joey? Wanna tag along?" Brian smiled.  
"No, I think I'll just go home and get some rest. Drink some honey tea, need to make sure my voice sounds great for our opening show," I faked a smile before heading down the streets, motioning for a taxi. Lauren and I used to run down in New York whenever we were there for tours or events and scream at taxis and dance after them.  
I finally decided to call for one. I hopped in and asked for him to take me to the Starbucks on 39th street.  
Walking inside I saw a picture of Lauren, Darren and I from college on the wall. It was a tradition in this Starbucks to hang pictures of their best costumers. Under the picture read "Lauren Lopez, Joey Richter and Darren Criss- 2009. Silly friends and pumpkin spice latte lovers"  
"Hey, Joey!" the girl from behind the counter yelled at me. It was a quiet day and she was the only one that appeared to be on staff at the moment.  
"Hi- Shh... Shit. I don't remember your name," I admitted, blushing slightly.  
"Shirley," she smiled.  
"Right. I knew it started with a 'Sh'" We both laughed as I headed over to the counter.  
"Pumpkin spice latte?" she asked.  
I debated for a moment, I really shouldn't be drinking any milk at all just a couple weeks before going on tour, but it's what Lauren would've gotten if she were here. "Uh, yeah, just a small one." Shirley made up my drink and I headed over to a small rounded table in the corner. I pulled out my phone and dialed in Darren's number. Or- was he going to be on set? After re-typing Darren's number three times I finally hit call.  
"Hello my fine friend," he beamed. I couldn't see him, but Darren was never not beaming.  
"Hey," I answered.  
"How have you been lately?"  
"Things have been rough since the accident with Lauren, I mean-"  
"Accident with Lauren?" Shit. I never got a chance to tell Darren. I went straight from Michigan to Chicago not even thinking to call him. How could I tell him now? He was going to be pissed for not letting him know sooner.  
"Uhm, well, you see, we sort of got into a little- accident," I began, "As in, a big white van carrying ice cream bars was driving on the wrong side of the road."  
"Shit, man, are you alright? When did this happen?" Darren asked in panic.  
"I'm fine, but Lauren's been in a coma for a week and a half."  
"A week and a half and you never even told me?! How could you not tell me?! She's one if my fucking best friends and you're just not going to tell me when she's in a fucking coma?!" He was nearly screaming into my ear. I was the worst, most terrible person in the world. First, I force Lauren into getting into the car and now I don't even tell our best friend what happened for nearly two weeks. Straight to hell with me.

• • •

Slowly lifting my arm of off the bed I brought my hand over to rub my eyes. I didn't want to sit up yet, but just knowing the fact I was not only alive but able to move my arm felt like a miracle. "He's awake," I could hear someone whisper. I forced my eyes open and saw a circle of doctors at the bottom of my bed to the left, and another doctor standing next to me. "How are you feeling?" he asked, pulling two gloves onto his hands.  
"Fine," I lied. I mean, I could move, which was great, but I didn't know shit about what was happening or how severe my inguries were. Everything hurt, but for all I knew that could just be cyclelogical.  
"Well, your right leg is pretty banged up and the wrist on your left is broken, but I'd say you survived that crash pretty well." Okay, so if that's good, what's bad? And what about Lauren?  
"Great, that's just great, now where's Lauren?" I asked, rushing him along.  
"Your girlfriend, I'm-"  
"She's not my girlfriend," I told him off, calmly.  
"Your friend, I'm afraid was not so lucky," he told me, not even trying to sound sincere. Why are all doctors such jerks?  
"You mean she's dead?!" I yelled, sitting up. It came to a shock, even to me that I was able to move so quickly and suddenly after what had just happened.  
"No, but she is in a coma with a 11% chance of not waking up," he told me, grabbing a containter of pills from a counter.  
"Which is only a 79% chance of waking up!" I tasted salt hit my tongue and I realized I was in front of nearly 7 strong men, bawling my eyes out.  
"Its actaully an 89% chance. Your guys's case is very rare and you should consider yourself very lucky."  
"MY BEST FRIEND IS IN A COMA AND YOUR CALLING US LUCKY?!" I snapped, chocking between words as the tears came faster and faster.  
"Believe it or not, you two will look back on it and think it to be so, now take these pills. They'll help with the pain," he said, handing me two white pills and a small glass of water. I didn't take them from him though.  
"YOU MEAN IF SHE SURVIVES AND DOESN'T HAVE BRAIN INGURIES OR SOMETHING!"

That night at the hospital was the hardest night of my life. I still hadn't a clue what was going on or what was going to happen. There was only a small chance of Lauren not making it, but there was still a chance. Team Starkid was all about beating the odds, but this was one odd, I prayed we wouldn't conquer.


	3. Chapter 3

Note: Okay, so I'm going to throw in one more flashback but that will be it. All the different time periods should be pretty obvious while you're reading them.

1- Joey present tense  
2- The crash and just after  
3- The Team and dealing with Lauren being in a coma  
4- Lauren actually being there

Chapter 3

Everything has changed. Well, for me at least. For the first month or two after it happened, no one cracked a smile or made a joke. Now it seems as I'm the only person who remembers her. It's been a year and I still can't pull myself together. I can't get her eyes out of my head. I pick up my phone and go to my voice mails. I still have Lauren's last one. I'm too scared to listen to it, but I feel I'm starting to forget the sound of her voice. I don't want to forget. I want her to be right here next to me telling me stories about her experience in Wal-Mart with Julia the night before. But maybe it's a good thing I'm forgetting. Yet no matter what I do, I feel like I'm doing it wrong.

• • •

Team Starkid and I gathered, standing in a circle holding hands.  
"Oh man, I feel like we should start singing songs from How The Grinch Stole Christmas," Lauren remarked, taking a step back for Clark to get in.  
"Okay!" Holden smiled, throwing a yellow ball up and down in his hands "Let's play a game!"  
"When's snack time?" Meredith winked at him and allowed him into the circle.  
"So, how this works is one person, which is me, has the ball, and everyone else is joined together by holding hands, and I have to run underneath your arms, BUT, there's also someone running around after me trying to tag me, that's Walker," Brian said in his normal chirpy voice.  
"I don't understand why," Brosenthal tilted his head to the side.  
"So basically we're just playing tag?" Lauren said mater-of-factily.  
"In a circle. Holding hands."  
"This is the dumbest game in the history of all dumb games," I said, not quite understanding the game myself.  
"Why do you have a ball?" Lily asked scrunching up her face.  
"Just go with it, guys," Brian began to grow angry with us. He had been spending lots of time with the kids Meredith nannied for the past few weeks.  
After the game, which included a Lauren/Jim collision, countless Walker curses and Jaime slipping on the hard wood floor, we finally went to grab our stuff and head out. "I'm starting to get really tired of coming here everyday for 5 hours," Lauren complained, holding the door open for me and Dylan. "Ahh, it's a nice day," she smiled, looking up in the sky, squinting slightly. It was true. It was a beautiful summer day in Chicago, the windy city. I nodded in agreement and we kept on walking down the street.  
"I'll call for a taxi," I suggested, pulling out my phone. "Oh, hey, one missed call from Lauren."  
"You didn't even listen to that?!" she yelled, playfully.  
"Ohh man," Dylan laughed.  
"Hey now, I was probably driving, trying to keep my eyes on the road here." I proceeded to call a taxi company.  
"Hey, anyone else wanna come out for a drink or something?" Dylan's booming voice echoed through nearly the whole street. Brian and Meredith exchanged looks suggesting otherwise and Devin, Lily and Brian were too busy tackling each other to even notice they were being talked to. "Where are the others?" Dylan asked couriously.  
"Denise and Jim left as soon as they got the chance and the others probably caught a taxi driving by," Lauren responded, eyes glues to her phone.  
Once our taxi arrived we all hopped in the back seat, squishing together. We headed off to our favorite Starbucks just a few blocks down.

"Joey! Lauren! And oh, is this a new friend?" Shirley asked. Lauren and I used to come here almost every weekend for our pumpkin spice latte's back in 2009 with Darren. Coming out to Chicago was a four hour drive, but well worth it. Whenever we came to this Starbucks we would start off asking for our order with some sort of silly pick up line. Shirley was the only one that ever laughed. She loved us so much, she made us that years best customers.  
"Dylan, he's our friend from college," I smiled. Shirley knew our orders and had them ready for us in no time.  
"What's a pumpkin spice latte?" Dylan asked, sniffing his drink as we sat down at our usual seat in the corner.  
"It's the best," Lauren sang out, taking a huge sip from hers, leaving her with a whipped cream moustache.  
"Use a napkin," I laughed, taking a seat next to Dyl.  
"Why? My face works just as well."

• • •

I lifted myself out of the hospital bed, standing up. It was the second time I was able to do this on my own. It hurt my leg a little bit, but I really just didn't want to use a wheelchair. I'd probably find some way to fall out of it. I walked along the narrow hall of the Ann Arbor hospital until I came accross Lauren's room. I took a seat on the chair next to her bed and held her hand. For me it felt almost awkward or silly to talk aloud to someone who couldn't hear you or respond to you, but I needed to visit her, so some days I would just sit in there for hours, holding onto that little hand. I missed her terribly. Four days had gone by, I would be getting out of the hospital before I know it and she was still in a coma, unable to communicate with me. How long would I have to wait to be able to hug her again? And the thought kept rushing through my mind; /what if she doesn't make it/


	4. Chapter 4

I was in Lauren's room when my main doctor walked in with a smile plastered on his face. My head was down and my hands were gripping onto Lauren's as hard as they could. "Joey," my doctor headed over to me. "Good news, the results have come in."

I jumped out of my chair with glee. "And she's okay?! She's going to live?!" I asked hopefully. It was the first time I was feeling joy in about a week. Sitting back down I kissed Lauren's hand, but when I looked back up at the doctor, his face had transformed. The bright, gleamy eyes that just walked through the door were now filled with slight sadness.

"Lauren's tests are still pending. Joey, you're free to go. If anything out of the ordinary occurs please take these and give us a call," he handed me a container of the pills and with that he was off. I was happy to be let go, but with every moment I grew more and more anxious for Lo. Now I had to find my way up to Chicago and let all of our friends know about the incident. Just the thought of having to tell the team was enough to bring be to tears.

"Hey, can you come get me from Ann Arbor, please?" I asked Rosenthal from the pay phone in the hospital waiting room.

"Rehearsals start back up tomorrow and you're in Ann Arbor?" he grunted back in response. I could just see him rolling his eyes. "Where's your car?" he added suspiciously.

"Please. Bring Dev. And snacks. Bring those too."

"It's an 8 hour drive there and back, of course I'll bring snacks," I hung up the phone quickly and sighed. I should've just told him the truth.

The next morning I was standing outside of mine and Lauren's hotel when Brian came up driving in his new flashy car with Devin in the passenger's seat. I faked a slight smile and walked over as the two got out. Before I was even able to say hello, arms were thrown around me in excitement.

"Joey!" Devin squealed, embracing me one last time.

"Guys, it's been 2 weeks," I forced a laugh; there's always something to smile about. Always. Brian and Devin were my closest friends in College at UofM. They were there for me no matter what.

"Look at that jaw!" Devin chirped, taking my face into her hands and kissing me.

"Stop," I blushed, getting closer to the door of the car. Brian chuckled, returning to his position in the driver's seat.

"So is Lauren taking your car up in the morning?" Brian asked as we pulled out of the driveway onto the highway.

I chocked on my water before responding, "Uh, well she's just not ready to go back to work yet."

"Cancel the party," Devin smirked.

"Return the alcohol," Brian played along.

"No need to go that far," Devin mumbled from the back seat.

The ride home was long, and for the most part boring. We played 'I Spy' but Brian gave up after only a few rounds. Most of my time was spent creating a script in my mind of just how I would break the news to the team.

The time spent in Chicago rehearsing, Lauren and I stayed with Joe Walker. Sitting on the couch together, we discussed the same usual things we always did; best food in New York City, favourite Mario character and he was talking about a new job he had on TV.

"So gonna be moving out to LA full time then?" I asked as the phone rang.

"Just let it be- uh yeah, most likely," at just that moment the message from Julia Albain started playing.

"Joey. Is Joseph Michael Richter there? Someone's gotta be home. Joey, Lauren's not answering her phone and Devin said she just doesn't want to go back to work. Ugh, just get her! This is the biggest tour of our lives, we need her! We just had a 2 week break!"

The message continued on for a few more minutes. Joe even yelled "SHUT UP" and threw a checker piece from our game at the messaging machine.

**. . .**

"Ow," I yelled, sitting up in the bed me and Lauren shared at Walker's house.

"Get up," Lauren growled after slapping me a second time. I glanced over to the alarm clock that read 7:09am.

"We don't have to be there for 3 hours, Lo!" I turned over and dug my face into my pillow.

"Don't you need that time to get ready?" she asked, walking towards the mirror with her makeup bag. I just grunted and threw her pillow in her direction.

I watched her through the mirror; she was honestly the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I was thankful to be able to call her my best friend. There was this something about her that I found just magical.


	5. Chapter 5

Whatever Happened To the Happy Ending?

C5

Lauren sat in the chair across from the TV in Walker's living room; she was watching Darren's new Glee episode. We didn't always watch it since we can always just find his scenes online. Of course Brian Holden and the Joes are always exceptions.

"Did Darren just break up with Kurt?" Lauren asked in shock.

"It's the breakup episode, Lo," I sighed, looking up from the daily newspaper that had been delivered to the house earlier that morning. Joe had gone out for his walk once he had woken up and we had the house to ourselves.

"Wanna go out to eat?" Lauren pondered.

"Hmm," I thought about it for a moment, "Well Walker has cereal."

"Gluten free? Besides, I feel bad eating his food." So with that, Lauren and I were off to the Starbucks on 39th street (Though their gluten free section was no better).

Shirley fixed us our drinks as usual and threw in our breakfasts before we sat down at the table in the corner. "I got a text from Julia this morning saying I was in charge of the buses again," she rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her latte.

"Can we be on the same bus this time?"

"Joey, you're only saying that because I get the nice bus." That wasn't not true actually, but I did want to be with her. Her company- though highly annoying- was refreshing. She was always happy; nothing could bring this girl down.

• • •

"Joey, Joey, it's okay, just tell us," Meredith was sitting next to me in our little circle of chairs during rehearsal. It was finally the time, I had to tell them. They would hate me if I put it off any longer. I took a deep breath and braced myself.

"Lauren isn't here because," with that the tears started running down my face even faster. It was ridiculous, it's not like she was dead yet; just a coma. It's not that big of a deal, right? "She's in a coma and it's all my fault. I was the one who forced her into the car, I was the one who froze up when we saw the truck coming-"Jaws were dropped all over the room. A few people were looking down; Julia was even in a pool of tears almost as big as mine.

She stood up and walked over to me, embracing me in a hug, "I'm so sorry for that message last night," she chocked on her own tears.

"Well is she going to be okay?" Meredith asked head down, looking at her lap.

"89% of waking up," I told her, letting go of Julia, "is that okay?"

Maybe I shouldn't have started this conversation at the beginning of rehearsal, since no rehearsing was really done that day.

Getting home I had one message on my cell phone; two including Lauren's. I picked up the phone and listened: "Joey, we've gotten the results back for Lauren and it looks like there's nothing that we can do if her condition doesn't change. We're going to be letting her go at 11am tomorrow."

My whole stomach dropped, I felt as if I couldn't breathe. I didn't want to breathe. I wanted to die along with her. I jumped up off my bed and started bawling my eyes out. I rummaged through every drawer in the room. Looking for something- anything- that could be sharp enough. My mind wasn't working as it should have been. Finally I came across a small hand mirror. I smashed it to the ground, screaming in rage and hurt. I fell to the ground and picked up a reasonable sized piece of glass. Staring at it, all of my memories with Lauren came flooding back: The day we first met, our first play rehearsal, A Very Potter Musical, when we walked into Starbucks to see our faces on the wall, attending LeakyCon, college parties, that dreadful day in Ann Arbor. She was my best friend. I would trust her with my life. No matter what she was always there for me to make me laugh. Now she was gone. I would never be able to hug her or feel the warmth of her tiny body against mine ever again I brought the glass over to my left wrist. Slowly, I traced the place I planned to cut. Then it happened. That phone call was like the dementors kiss, sucking all the remaining happiness out of my body.

"Joey!" Joe burst through the door of my room, "I heard you scream then it went silent, are you okay?" he ran over and kneeled beside my weeping body on the floor. I didn't respond and he kept quiet, but I knew he had seen the blood dripping down my arm. He rubbed my back and after a few moments, left, leaving me alone again. I had until 11am, who knows what would happen between now and then. I brought myself into a standing position and looked in the wall mirror. My face was red and puffy with tears still flooding out. I made my way over to the bathroom to wash up. Everywhere hurt, especially my heart. It felt almost worse than the incident itself.

"Joe?" I quietly called out for my friend. My head peered into the kitchen I then proceeded to his bedroom, "Joe?"

He opened his door in silence and motioned for me to come in. "Lauren?" he knew nothing else could cause this reaction. I couldn't even attempt to keep myself together. I could tell he wanted to help, he just didn't know how.

"If she stays in the same condition until 11am-"

"Okay." I began sobbing at Joe, unable to control my emotions. "It's okay, Joey, I'll tell the others, save you the trouble." He faked a smile in my direction and went to grab the phone.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning when I walked into the rehearsal room everyone was silent. I took a seat next to Brian Holden who was grasping Meredith's hand, comforting her. After a few moments of a quiet room (very unusual for us), Jaime barged through the door. Unlike the rest of us, she looked like her usual peppy self.

"Wow, everyone in here looks sadder than a dead mouse," she chirped, wandering over to the only empty seat by Rosenthal and Julia. No one responded and none of us even bothered to get rehearsal going. I saw Julia lean towards Jaime, whispering something to her before receiving a hug.

"Okay, guys," Meredith interrupted everyone's thoughts, "I know we're all a bit shaken up by this news, but we have a huge show in two weeks! We need to stop putting stuff off." Brian patted her on the back and whispered something that sounded somewhat like "Lay off."

"Our best friend is going to be dead in a couple hours, sorry if our heads aren't enough in the game," Walker snapped at Meredith.

"She has a point, we're Starkids! We're supposed to set happy examples!" Jaime smiled.

"Sure, let's just all forget about our friends death!" Rosenthal waved his hands around sarcastically. A huge argument broke out among ourselves. I sat in silence, shunning Jaime and Meredith in my mind. How could they just ignore the fact Lauren was nearly dead. Soon she wouldn't be here anymore. Her fun loving spirit, her brilliant ideas, her cute dance moves and beautiful soprano voice.

Julia stood up, out of her chair and left the room. Our friends were all fighting. Our team was falling apart.

"Guys!" Clark yelled out to grab everyone's attention. "Listen to yourselves! This is Lauren's death we're talking about. Does no one realize the seriousness of this?"

"This is rehearsal; all we should be thinking about is who will replace her. Devin, would you want to take her solos in Boy Toy and Get Back Up?"

"No, Clark's right; we shouldn't be talking like this!" Devin protested. A silence fell over the room. Meredith had a look of sorrow on her face. Lauren and she were such good friends. What had come over her? Brian had kept quiet the whole time, I could tell he believed Meredith was in the wrong but wasn't brave enough to say anything.

"Maybe we shouldn't decide on these things today," Clark suggested.

"Maybe we should just delay the tour," Meredith barked out.

"I'm tired of listening to us fighting!" Walker's booming voice yelled, "Whatever happened to us being a family?" With that he stood up and walked out the front door. Dylan was next to follow before the rest of the team. Clark, Rosenthal, Devin and I stayed put.

"Joey, you okay?" Dev asked me, relocating to an empty seat beside me. She wrapped one arm around my neck and began playing with my hair; one of her favorite things, though I'm not sure why.

"No. Everything's over for me," I spoke up for the first time that day.

"She would've known just what to do if Team Starkid was in danger," Brian remarked. He was right. She was so good at keeping the peace.

• • •

Sometimes I'm not really sure what the whole purpose of life actually is. Everyone has their own purpose, whether it's to inspire others to create or to create all by yourself. Maybe it's just about finding someone special and settling down to start a family by bringing a new human being into this world who will have to fight and go through all the same shitty things you did. I can guarantee you that nearly every teenager goes through a stage battling with seemingly silly things like confused sexuality or whether or not to cut because their three week partner just broke up with them. Nearly every young adult wonders why they haven't found what their purpose in life is or if it was a mistake to sleep with that attractive girl at the party last night, even when you can't remember her name. Sometimes adults reach their forties and still have nothing. Whenever I see a situation like that, I wonder to myself if that's all part of God's plan or if the certain individual made a mistake along the way. It scares me to think that maybe I've made a mistake. Sure, I'm young and naïve, but at what age do we put this entire make believe stuff behind and start realizing that's now is the time to begin your life. With every new generation it seems to be younger. Society is so screwed up that we don't know the answers to any of the questions anymore. Maybe once you've already become jaded and have already succeeded in your purpose then that's your time to go. I don't mean that metaphorically- I literally mean, your time. Does God just say "You've done it all, see you, Marie-Lou"? Is this how there are people living up until past one hundred now, or is that just health? Maybe Lauren's time was now because she had accomplished everything she ever wanted. I suppose I should let this be a lesson in my book; you can never ask for too many things. Of course, if you're at a formal party I wouldn't go around asking for more cheese for my cracker or more sparkling apple juice. What I guess I'm trying to say is that there's no such thing as a dream that's too big. If you want something more, go get it. It's as simple as that. Don't rush into things though. Enjoy being a kid, or a teenager, or a student, or a young adult. And never give up, Joey. Listen to yourself; _never give up._

Dwelling in the past never solved anyone's problems. I know it sounds cliché and like I just modernized a Shakespeare sonnet, but it's one of the truest statements of them all. Looking back, I realize that maybe I went to some extremes after the death of Lauren. I never took into consideration that maybe the phrase "She's in a better place now" could have some accuracy involved. Lauren was a good girl. I knew her very well and never in her life had she ever done anything to deserve to be sent to a place like Hell. Neither Lauren nor I were ever very religious people in her time, but she was always telling me how much she wished she was. It was always her intention to actually wake up before noon on a Sunday morning and make her way down to the little church on the corner. Did she ever actually follow through with that plan? Not necessarily. It may be 1:12AM, and sure, I spent most of the nigh writing in a stupid old journal my mother thought I would appreciate to keep track of my life and crying over the fact that I'm alone, but I think tomorrow I'm going to wake up early and begin my new dedication. Perhaps if it doesn't end up being my style I'll give up. At least I'll have tried everything. Except sky diving, and sorry, but I never will.

**Authors Note: Thank you so much for sticking with me until now. I really felt like there was some Joey character development that needed to be added there. As of now I only plan on doing one more chapter. That's right, one more chapter to bring all of the parts of the story to a dramatic, unexpected ending. Everything will be explained and perhaps I'll even throw in a happy ending. **


End file.
